I Don't Bite, You Know

Mel Kennedy

Today I want to discuss with you about how to talk to a disabled person.

I understand that talking to a disabled person may be difficult - sometimes a disability can impact the way someone speaks, so you may struggle to understand, or someone may have such a noticeable difference that you become focused on it and become worried by the thought that the person will notice.

Don’t worry, you aren’t alone in feeling uncomfortable.

In 2014, Scope released an article which discussed the findings of new research regarding people talking to disabled people. The research found that the majority of British people are uncomfortable talking to a disabled person. At the time, 67% of the population admitted to feeling uncomfortable talking to disabled people and 43% admitted to personally not knowing any disabled people.

Most surprisingly, the research found that it was people aged between 18-34 who were twice as likely as older people to feel awkward and admitted to avoiding conversations with disabled people because they weren’t sure how to communicate.

Here is a handy guide for speaking with your friendly neighbourhood disabled person.

First things first: Slow down. Relax.

Start at the basics. Say hello and introduce yourself. You aren’t here for a job interview, it’s just an everyday conversation.

Honestly, it’s fine. If I’m not busy, just say hi and start a conversation. if I am a bit busy, I will tell you. Granted, sometimes I might be a bit stressed or distracted, but most of the time you can start me in a conversation about anything, and as my lecturers can attest to, I rarely shut up once I get going.

We all know the ‘gentle’ tone people use with disabled people (or do the opposite and talk VERY LOUDLY). Just talk normally. If, like me, someone is Hard of Hearing they’ll ask if you could speak up a little -- no harm done.

If I’m in a wheelchair and you feel awkward, sit down in the other chair or perch on a table or something. It not only makes me more comfortable talking to you, it also gives you a break for a few minutes. If I’m with someone, please, direct questions about me to me and not the person with me. Imagine if you were out with your friends and someone kept asking them a question about you while you stood right there. Not a nice feeling is it?

You may be very tempted to ask why someone needs disability aids such as a cane or service animal. However, most people aren’t thrilled to start the long, well repeated story about disability. If I want to tell you, I will tell you - but unless I make a reference to it or you don’t understand something, please, don’t ask. Also, while I usually make jokes or sarcastic comments about my disability that doesn't give you the right to make those jokes. Many of us use humour as a coping mechanism and that doesn't make it okay for you to use us as comedy props.

Isolation is a huge problem with disability, and your conversation could make the difference for someone.

Just breathe, relax, talk.

We’re human too.

Scope (2014) Brits feel uncomfortable with disabled people available at: https://www.scope.org.uk/media/press-releases/brits-feel-uncomfortable-with-disabled-people/ (Accessed 23/07/2020)